OMG PD: Stay Out of Her Caffeined Way; Corona is the Drink of Choice

DOWNERS GROVE

A woman left the Bed Bath and Beyond on Butterfield Road Aug. 1 with a coffeemaker that she tried to return. The problem: Downers Grove police said the item wasn’t hers to exchange.

Police reviewed surveillance footage and saw the woman walk into the store around 5:20 p.m. carrying only her purse. Once inside, officers said the video showed her carrying the Breville YouBrew Coffee Maker, valued at $279, to the customer service counter.

Bed Bath and Beyond staff said the woman asked if the counter was the only place to make returns. The woman told staff she couldn’t wait for them to finish working with the one customer ahead of her. Police said she then left the store with the coffeemaker.

The woman is described as being 45 to 50 years old, between 5-foot, 4-inches and 5-foot, 5-inches tall and weighing 135 to 145 pounds. Police said she was wearing a white v-neck T-shirt and a black skirt. No word on how caffeinated she may be.

ST. CHARLES

A Burglar Who Knows What He Wants

A resident of the 1400 block of Indiana Street reported at 10:02 p.m. burglary Aug. 3 to his apartment between 5 and 10 p.m. Reported missing: a case of Corona.

La GRANGE

Police were called to the village parking garage, at 6th and Harris avenues, for an argument between two individuals on the 3rd floor of the lot at about 11:57 p.m. Aug. 2 The caller told police that one man appeared to be upset and was swinging his arms around. Police spoke with both individuals who said there was no argument; they are just animated talkers.

ELMHURST

You can be sure that the police will be called if you are seen not wearing any pants—and lying in the fetal position—and having befouled someone's property.

Police arrested a man whose name they did not release and charged him with public intoxication after he defecated on the front porch of an undisclosed residence at 9:07 a.m. Aug. 5. Police received a call for a suspicious person not wearing pants, and they found the subject lying in the fetal position with no pants on. The complainant told police the man had no pants on from the moment he saw him on his porch; he also witnessed him defecating. The man was taken to Elmhurst Memorial Hospital by medics due to his "high level of intoxication." In addition to public intoxication, he was charged with disorderly conduct for "befouling another's property." He was released on I-bond.

ST. CHARLES

A 32-year-old Geneva man and Realtor reported at 5:05 p.m. Aug. 7 that he was showing a home at 1025 S. 6th St., when he discovered someone had sprayed a can of soda on an inside wall. Then he found someone had drawn images of male genitalia on the carpet. Police believe initial entry was made through a window. Damage to the carpet was estimated at $50.

This is not what real estate agents have in mind when they “stage” a house.

GENEVA

You know those little gnome statues that people like to take pictures of in foreign countries? Well, keep an eye out for some from Geneva. Police reports this week indicate a 12-inch gnome statue was taken from a home on Miller Road. The gnome is described as 12 inches tall, with a blue shirt and made of ceramic. The little statute is either cute or creepy, depending on your opinion.